Rebecca
And Bec — two very different sisters who come together each week to reframe some of life’s big and small problems.

Natalie
We see the world differently, but we both lean into vulnerability — together, and with our guests, because we like deep dives. So come with us, let’s reframe something.

Rebecca
Today we are reframing the holiday list. We’re seeing lots of lists out there right now, most of them about getting people the perfect gift for Christmas and other winter holiday celebrations.

Natalie
And some of them are pretty solid — like a help, even. We do bi-weekly lists for our Patreon subscribers — what we like to call Life Hacks and Enhancers. And as our holiday gift to you, we thought it would be fun to share a Reframeables enhancer list with everyone.

Rebecca
A lifting of the curtain, if you will — a behind-the-scenes look at what our Patreon friends get on the regular. And because we’ll be going on a wee break for the next four weeks to finish up some exciting projects that we’ve been working on (and a chance to have a break), this is your chance to hang out with us in the meantime via Patreon. So we’ll still be putting out Life Hacks and Enhancer lists every other week, and for the cost of a coffee a month, why not? You could support us, and we would really appreciate it.

Natalie
So here it is, a Reframeables Life Hacks and Enhancers list for the holidays.

Ok Bec, my first life hack, but I’m actually going to call it a life enhancer — and this one blew up, so to speak, on TikTok. And by blow up, I mean I think I got like 70 likes on this thing, which for our account (which is, you know, a little bit small), was actually pretty hefty. Was a banana free green smoothie. And you may be wondering: why and what does this have anything to do with holiday lists? But it’s because I really think that we spend a lot of time around this season, whatever it is we’re celebrating, often eating and drinking in not the most healthy way. And so it’s nice to have the odd little moment of cleanse throughout the season. And I have figured out that it’s not just the TikTokers who don’t love bananas, but that we are all a little bit fatigued of that much banana and all things drink, specifically green drinks.

So if you were going to make a green smoothie out of, say, a little bit of lemon, an apple, and some spinach, then I would suggest instead of adding a banana, that you would add a tablespoon of hemp seeds. And if you put those into your blender, you will end up coming out the other side with essentially the same texture of a banana smoothie, without the extra sweetness of banana, without the specific taste of banana, but all the creaminess that you could ever want. So there. Biggie.

Rebecca
I like it. Just, question: are people sick of bananas?

Natalie
Yeah. That’s like a thing, it seems. Otherwise there’s no way I would have gotten that many hits on that video. And I called it ‘banana-free,’ and it’s like everybody went, “Woah!” and then came running for it. So that seemed to be a term that people were looking for, because that’s how people use TikTok now, right? They search it like they would search YouTube. So people were searching ‘banana-free green smoothie.’

Rebecca
Wow.

Natalie
So it’s a thing. I know.

Rebecca
Ok. I’m going to make ten of them over the holidays. Is that too big a commitment?

Natalie
No, I really don’t think so. I think you could probably get one in you a day, and you’d be really good. Because Clifforrd and I right now have treated ourselves to, for the month of December, we’re having, like, an evening tipple of Harveys Bristol Cream. We’re like old people. We’re loving it. It’s the best. But that’s a lot of sugar right before bed, so I don’t need the extra sugar in my day. So why not substitute it with a banana-free green smoothie?

Rebecca
It’s not boring, people.

Natalie
No.

Rebecca
This is not a boring tip.

Natalie
Not at all. That’s, like, a useful tip. That’s like the kind of tip you wish was showing up on all of your holiday lists.

Rebecca
Nice. Thanks, Nat. Ok, so I just have to go out and get the hemp seeds.

Natalie
Yeah. Which, I mean, they’re everywhere. Manitoba, Hemp Harvest, all those different ones. They’re easy to find.

Rebecca
Even at, like, Winners sometimes, right?

Natalie
Totally — and Bulk Barn. So you don’t have to spend the extra cost for the organic ones, but they’re available everywhere.

Rebecca
Nice. Woohoo. We turned off the screen for one another, but right now I’m raising my hands for you, Nat.

Natalie
I’m so pleased.

Rebecca
Ok. What’s next?

Natalie
Ok, my next one is less tangible, a little bit more philosophical. In the spirit of our last podcast episode with the author Marianne Apostolides, who really just presented to us a lot of philosophical ponderings. That’s where her book went, and so I’ve just been kind of, like, in my philosophical brain for the past week or so, thinking through with her some of the stuff that she talked about. And as a part of our list this week, I thought maybe I could bring forward a life enhancer thanks to Derrida. So Jacques Derrida was one of the philosophers that Marianne mentioned, and so anyone who has not sort of done any of that reading, this might be, like, a little… you know, I’m going to use that word again: tipple. Like a little sip of Derridean philosophy that might get you interested, but I think that it could be used as a life enhancer for our list.

So I was reading this morning in an interview with another thinker named Caputo, and Derrida said to him, “When I speak to you, I am telling you that I promise to tell you something. To tell you the truth. Every speech act is fundamentally a promise.” So I’m going to read those lines again: “When I speak to you,” Derrida says, “I am telling you that I promise to tell you something. To tell you the truth. Every speech act is fundamentally a promise.” And I was really struck by this. And so maybe you’re like, “Well, ok, cool, but how is that a life enhancer?” But I really think measuring the weight of our words is like a truly worthwhile calculation to be making, and determining what we say and how we say it — you know, so as to uplift not just others, but ourselves, right? Like in this season where things can feel a little bit heavy in terms of the weight of time spent with loved ones, of trying to make everything perfect, there can be a lot of negative self-talk that goes around, and how to interrupt those thoughts is certainly on my mind.

But it’s not just that. The reframing of the act of speech, of storytelling, of sharing a conversation with the other (how Derrida or Levinas would sort of describe the person that you’re in contact with: someone who is beyond yourself as the other), that that is a promise or a gift, even. Like, to me, that just feels like such a life enhancer. That my conversation with you on here on the Reframeables podcast, or whether we’re walking down Dundas, I mean, that that is me gifting you my time, my words, and it’s a gift to myself. So there’s just something really thought-prompty in that that I think I believe is a life enhancer, just inherently unto itself. The idea that our speech is a promise and a gift. And I loved it. Like, as soon as I read that, I was like, “That is something that is not making it onto the average holiday list — but maybe needs to be.”

Rebecca
That’s a nice way to think about it, because even coming to some of these family gatherings, perhaps, that sometimes do feel weighty, as you say — and without any other expectation except just that this moment of conversation could be a gift to one another?

Natalie
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca
Like, as simple as that.

Natalie
As simple as that. And that as you open your mouth, the words that are about to emerge… or if somebody’s not a speaking person, right? I mean, imagine if somebody’s using sign language to communicate that the words that are formed through their fingers. I mean, just the act of now starting to move the hand, of moving the mouth, is a promise that I am going to tell you something. That it’s now like an engaged act of relationship. To me, all of a sudden it just really adds a level of beauty, I don’t know, enormity to just the idea of relation. I think that’s sort of just gift unto itself, and I love it.

Rebecca
I like that a lot, and that’s challenging to me. I see that as a helpful challenge, because sometimes in my more negative spaces I will think there’s nothing to be gleaned from anybody. Like, that’s really… but like, I don’t know, “I don’t think I’m going to get anything from this conversation,” or, “I’m not…” you know, “Who’s going to inspire me?” Or kind of, like, “You owe me something, and you’re not going to give it. I’m not going to be satisfied.” That’s one way to look at relationship, and this is a very different way, which I think is fundamentally more hopeful and just a better way to live. Actually, it’s so funny. I really like it because the other day, because I do have sort of a propensity to be a bit negative sometimes, and I was just like, “You know I could just be different. I could say I’m a joyful, happy person.”

Natalie
Yup.

Rebecca
Although I think sometimes people think I am that way, but actually I have to struggle against my own self. But I could just make these choices. So I could just make choices to view conversation this way. Do you think it’s just a choice?

Natalie
Yeah, that’s so interesting, Bec — I mean, because you are a bringer of so much joy into so many conversations. So I do believe that the choice… I think it’s about how you let that joy in for yourself. So yeah, I do think choice must be a part of it. I think that that is the philosopher’s dilemma. And certainly someone like Derrida, who was a deconstructionist of language, right — the idea of taking language apart to kind of make new meaning of it, we do that with not just words, but with conversations, with time spent. So I mean, like, with art making. So the deconstructionist kind of component of you, I see how that is something you’re butting up against. An easy hope. But I don’t think that this idea, this promise, this life enhancer is easy hope. Like, I think it’s just about cognition. Like, it’s recognizing the potential for this moment is there. So, yeah, I think it’s a choice — and a good one.

Rebecca
Thanks, Nat. I brought something much simpler to the table.

Natalie
Ok, tell me. What’s your life hack or enhancer?

Rebecca
For our holiday list.

Natalie
Ok.

Rebecca
A frother.

Natalie
That sounds really wonderful.

Rebecca
A hand-held effin’ frother. That you guys got for us from the Pretty Clean Shop in The Junction, which is a great store, promoting all things green, environmentally friendly. And a frother is just such a simple way to make your life happy. If you have a child in your life, they can froth the drink. You can froth apple cider, you can froth hot chocolate. What else can you froth, Nat?

Natalie
Well yeah, those are the main things, but lattes, right? Like, oat milk for a latte all of a sudden gets so fluffy, and throw a little cinnamon on there and you just charged yourself, like, two bucks for a $7 drink.

Rebecca
How can you not want to frost things?

Natalie
I know.

Rebecca
Throw sprinkles on that hot chocolate after it’s frothed.

Natalie
Yup.

Rebecca
Anyway, it’s just like such a simple little joy that… you could have a frothing party. Pass the frother. No, seriously, that could be really fun. You know what? Our families would get into that. We sat down at the dining room table, we have our drinks ready, and everyone froths, one after the other.

Natalie
And documented the frothing, so that it was like… images.

Rebecca
And document it.

Natalie
It’s true you know, actually, because I’m thinking of some of those kind of fancier cocktails where the egg white is frothed and put on top of a drink. Can you picture that on some of those sort of fancier ones?

Rebecca
Yeah.

Natalie
They’re very pretty. Anyways, you could use the frother for that.

Rebecca
Right. Make myself my own…

Natalie
Fancy cocktail.

Rebecca
Frothy cocktail. Yeah. Love it. Ok, so that’s what I’m suggesting.

Natalie
I like it.

Rebecca
So inexpensive, but just pure joy.

Natalie
Easy, bubbly joy.

Rebecca
And, just small kitchen item.

Natalie
Yup.

Rebecca
Hey Reframeables: a little housekeeping. Don’t forget to rate, review, or subscribe wherever you listen to your podcasts if you like what we’re doing here on Reframeables. Your feedback really supports this reframing project of ours. Also, please sign up for our weekly newsletter, which comes with a free delicious recipe from Nat. Check us out over on Patreon too, where we do mini-episodes which we call Life Hacks and Enhancers — our five best things in a week. On Patreon, you can become a monthly donor for as little as $2 a month, or you could even tip us on our new Ko-fi account. Lastly, tell us what you like and what you want to hear more of. We love feedback and getting to know you, our listeners. All the links are in our show notes. Love, Reframeables.

Ok, the other thing was I was thinking… at first I was thinking about a piece of clothing, because that’s something I enjoy. But I wasn’t sure. I mean, it is tricky to recommend clothing because you’re always now going down the road of really expensive designer… something Canadian, let’s say, and small-scale production that’s more people friendly, sustainable, all that. It does get really expensive. So it’s not an easy recommendation. So then we switched altogether and we went, you know, not clothing — but what about art? What is a way to support artists, to find a small piece of art that you could enjoy? And you reminded me of… you called it TOAF?

Natalie
Yeah. The Toronto Outdoor Art Festival. But really, ‘outdoor’ could also be ‘online,’ so the ‘o’ could be substituted because it’s both.

Rebecca
Right. And it happens in the summer, so that’s something we can all look forward to.

Natalie
Yup, in July. Yup.

Rebecca
But you can go online and they have holiday lists curated right now. So we found one curated by Meghan Yuri Young, and it’s a really cool collection of jewellery (handmade, beautiful, really interesting jewellery), pieces of art, all kinds of art. It seems like great gift ideas, and just… I love that it’s supporting artists.

Natalie
Yeah. And local artists, right? I mean, these are mostly Canadian artists. A lot of them are from Toronto and they all have their own websites, but this becomes a space where they’ve come together to get to sort of be advertised as en masse. And there’s just something lovely about not having to go search every single individual person out, but that they’re all there in this one website, which we’ve linked in the show notes. Yeah, I love it. It was funny. I had a friend who actually, before I left teaching, she had nominated me for an educator prize, and that’s how I learned about TOAF. I won the prize, which was really cool, and then I got to now have this little bit of money to spend on a piece of art out of, like, just everything that was available on there. And then I connected with the artist that I chose. There was just something so lovely and almost, like, community just in this experience, because you weren’t just shopping through the site and then the artist themselves disappeared. Like, it actually then became like a connection point between you and the artist. So there’s just something lovely in that. Remember when we used to, when we were younger, we’d go with mom to the big art festival?

Rebecca
The One of a Kind.

Natalie
The One of a Kind show. And maybe it’s kind of like calling up One of a Kind vibes for me, but with a slightly artier take.

Rebecca
Yeah. Because that one’s gotten quite commercial, I think, right?

Natalie
Yeah. Which is fine for what it is, but this is something neat. This feels like you’re discovering people, which is a neat thing to get to participate in when art can feel so inaccessible, right? Like, this actually makes it feel very accessible.

Rebecca
Yeah, and then I think there’s really that challenge, too — when it’s new artists, you really have to trust your own intuition. Like, the AGO hasn’t curated it.

Natalie
Right, exactly. Because you’re not just sort of buying something because the name is so recognizable. Yeah. I mean, it is lovely when something is curated, just like a good list, but at the same time you feel, like, direct contact with the artist. So I love that.

Rebecca
Cool.

Natalie
TOAF — but again, we’ve got the link for you, so then you don’t have to do any of the work. See, we do all the work. Happy to do the work. So I have one last philosophical life enhancer, ok — so a little less intense than the Derridean one. But I really like, and I think that people might find their holiday time enhanced, if they allow themselves the freedom to play with tradition. So we know that in our family that we’ve got certain family members who get super excited about doing the exact same thing we did last year, because it feels familiar, it feels exciting. There’s something lovely about that. And as much as I can go down that road with them, there’s also this part of me that feels constrained when I have to do Christmas or New Year’s only one way. And so I am just suggesting that one way to enhance one’s holiday experience would be to just play a little bit with some of those traditions. And maybe we all were taught that we could do that in the midst of the pandemic. If there was anything that we could say that came out of the pandemic experience that was a healer, it might have been that we had to make new traditions for those years where we couldn’t be together. Right? So maybe there’s something in that.

But even just, like, the way that I never end up hanging the Christmas lights with Frankie and Clifford the same way every year. Every year it’s like a whole new schtick. And that feels nice not to feel stuck — like we have to do it one way. And even for the Christmas Eve meal that we tend to have in our house, so yes, I love that it’s here, but I don’t feel like I need to do the same menu each year. The people pleaser in me would feel like I should, because I know that certain people aren’t going to eat certain things. But the rebel in me is going to try and make something different each time because then that makes it fun for me to be in the kitchen, because it’s my kitchen and I enjoy cooking, so why not play a little? That’s something that I really believe is like a send off kind of life enhancer that I think we could all be channelling: is how to find ways to play in the midst of tradition so that we can find new joy in the midst of our holiday time. What do you think?

Rebecca
I like it. And I’m hearing you say this is like freedom for you — the rebel is looking for mental freedom.

Natalie
Yeah. I think it is. Isn’t that kind of in the spirit of, well, some aspect of this season? I mean, we’re supposed to be coming together in love as families and whatever our chosen family is, or whoever it is that we’d like to spend time with. But life and love don’t need to look one specific way. So if that plays out as a different dish in my kitchen, then there’s my little act of Christmas rebellion.

Rebecca
So take the risk to shed a tradition that’s not working. Is that also what we’re saying?

Natalie
Yeah. Oh, my gosh, yeah — 100%. Well, even when we stopped feeling the absolute need to do a turkey, right? Like, turkey was a lot of fun, but it’s also a ton of work and was hard on mom’s whole body.

Rebecca
Yeah — mental freedom.

Natalie
Yeah, mental freedom. My gosh. So, yeah, there you go. So, like, letting go. Let go of the bird, let go of the soup. Let go.

Rebecca
Order pizza.

Natalie
Order pizza. Oh my goodness, I could totally see that being fun. So yeah, I think that there’s something in that, and I gift that to you, dear Reframeables, as my send off.

Rebecca
I like that. I like that a lot, yeah. I have to think about what tradition, or what aspect of tradition. Because you don’t want to hurt people…

Natalie
No.

Rebecca
By rejecting something. It’s not about that — for me anyway. You obviously want to hurt people, Nat.

Natalie
Yeah, I’m all about that. I got my gloves on, I’m ready to go.

Rebecca
Ready to box.

Natalie
I’m boxing here. Shadow boxing with myself.

Rebecca
I just want to recap, them. We have our banana-free smoothie. We have our Derrida quote.

Natalie
Yes.

Rebecca
“Every speech act is fundamentally a promise.” I love that. We have our frother. We have our TOAF art fair. And… how would you summarize the last one?

Natalie
Feel free to play with tradition.